I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
by Midori Akita
Summary: What happens when Axel busts in on Roxas' wedding?


**I Write Sins, Not Tragedies**

**By: **Midori Akita

**Summary:** What happens when Axel busts in on Roxas' wedding?

**Pairing:** AkuRoku

**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, I would _not _be sitting here writing fanfics xD

Axel walked the corridors of a church, dressed in a suit and tie, red hair spiked as usual. It was quiet in the church, but he knew that soon music would play, and the words of the priest would ring through the hallways, clear and true. The blonde man he loved would stand at the altar, with his best man by his side. The flower girl and bridesmaids and groomsmen would walk down the aisle, followed by the bride, in her white dress with the bouquet in her hands while she walked on the arm of her father. Her father would place her hand into her groom's, and take a seat in the front row. The priest would begin his marriage speech, the couple would recite their handwritten vows, promising loyalty and love and faithfulness through the good and the bad. They would exchange rings, saying how it was a symbol of love and an eternal bond. The priest would tell the groom to kiss his bride, and the group of loved ones watching would erupt with clapping. The newly married couple would walk back down the aisle, arms linked, while their families and friends looked at them with loving and congratulating looks. The best man would pair up with the maid of honor, and follow the groom and his bride, followed by the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

Axel sighed. The man he loved was getting married. The groom asked him to be his best man, but Axel refused. He wouldn't be the best man when the one he loved was getting married to someone other than him.

_Then why am I here?_ He wasn't going to be the best man, so why was he at the church? Why was he dressed up in this _monkey suit,_ in uncomfortable shoes that didn't even fit him?

He passed by an open door, the room where all the women besides the bride were getting ready. A waiter came into the room through another door with some light drinks and snacks. Olette, Naminé, and Kairi accepted glasses of what looked like champagne, and Marluxia, the flower girl, in this case, flower boy, got a glass of chardonnay.

The waiter, revealed to be Tidus, complete with a tux and an apron, and Kairi hovered near the door where Axel was peeking in. Both were oblivious to his presence, which was just as well from the conversation they were having.

"What a beautiful wedding!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Yes, but what a shame. The poor groom's bride is a whore," Tidus muttered, and Kairi giggled after taking a sip of her champagne.

Well, Axel could agree with Tidus, for once.

Blinking a couple of times, Axel rapped on the door. He had to break up this wedding. And if he was going to do that, he was going to have to be in the church, he was going to have to be the best man.

Probably wondering who was at the door, Tidus opened it and was surprised when he saw Axel. Stepping in the room, he saw that the women were all wearing similar dresses, Kairi's pink, Naminé's pale blue, and Olette's pale orange. Marluxia had on a suit, with a pink rose pinned to his chest that matched his hair.

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?" Axel asked. "For all you know, Xion could have been outside the door, instead of me, and she would have heard that _lovely_ comment of her being a whore."

They all snorted. "Xion's mom has been going insane all day over everything, Xion's ready to scream, and we haven't seen her since this morning," Olette said.

"Well, anything that spawned _Xion_ must be insane," Axel muttered. "But does anybody know where I can find the men?"

"Down the hall," Naminé replied and pointed to the left. "Second door on the right."

"And straight on til morning!" Marluxia chimed in and grinned devilishly. Axel snickered, and exited the room with a wave goodbye.

He walked briskly down the hall in the direction that Naminé had pointed. He could hear voices inside the room once he got outside the door. He opened the door slowly and quietly.

Cloud Strife, one of the groom's brothers, was standing in front of the mirror, fixing his spiked hair. Spiked hair seemed to run in the Strife family, since Cloud, his brothers, and even his father had naturally spiked up hair.

Riku, the groom's best friend besides Axel, was helping Sora, another spiky-haired Strife brother, with his tie. Riku and Sora were currently dating, which wasn't surprising since they'd been friends since about first grade.

And then, there in front of another mirror, was the groom. His blonde hair was spiked up as usual, his eyes as blue as they'd always been. His suit jacket hung over a nearby chair, and his black tie was hung around his neck, not yet tied. He was as pale as a sheet, and looked ready to sprint away from the church and curl up into a fetal position in a dark corner of his closet.

"Roxas," Axel said once he could remember how to speak again. The sight of Roxas always took his breath away, but Roxas in a _suit_ was something entirely different.

Roxas spun around on his heel. His eyes bugged when he saw Axel standing there, then a smile spread over his adorable face.

"Axel! You actually came!" he exclaimed.

Before Axel knew it, Roxas had his arms around Axel in a tight hug.

"Of course I came, Roxie. I couldn't miss your…wedding," Axel replied, resisting the urge to say 'wedding' like a filthy word.

"Hey, Axel," Sora and Riku said at the same time. Sora was now trying to coax Riku into tying his long hair back, but Riku bluntly refused and told his boyfriend to tie his shoes.

Axel reached back to unlatch Roxas' arms from his neck, and began to tie his tie. Roxas stood still as Axel tied it, a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead, which Axel wiped away with his sleeve once the tie was done.

"Roxie, you look like you're about to faint," Axel said as he flattened Roxas' collar.

"I'm getting married, if you were in my place, you'd be sweating your ass off too," Roxas said.

Axel grinned. "Just take deep breaths, and remember why you're doing this. You love Xion, that's all that matters." When Roxas didn't agree with him, he continued on. "And anyway, it's not like _you_ have to walk down the aisle. You just stand, take her hand, and recite your vows before saying 'I do'."

Roxas grunted and grabbed his suit jacket off the chair, pulling it over his thin arms. "I'm just glad you're here, Axel."

"I'm glad I'm here too." He let no hint of his plans to break up the wedding drip into his voice.

Tidus walked in the room, serving tray under his arm. "It's time, boys," he said.

Cloud finally turned away from the mirror, and Sora and Riku set down the sodas they'd been drinking. Roxas took one last deep breathe, then turned towards the door.

"You ready for this Axel?" Roxas asked him.

"Shouldn't _I_ be asking _you_ that?" Axel teased and flicked Roxas on the nose.

"Well I'm not ready in the slightest—let's go."

Axel laughed as they walked out of the room towards the church hall. Axel walked next to Roxas, and the other filed behind them and eventually separated to meet up with the bridesmaids.

"Well, chill out" Axel said cheerfully and playfully slapped Roxas on the back. "This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life."

Roxas smiled up at him, the innocence of his boyish face made Axel's heart ache. If this didn't work, Roxas was cursed to be legally married to Xion until one of them lost enough of their mind to file a divorce.

They emerged at the front of the hall near the altar, and Roxas took his place after a few words with the priest, whose name Axel thought was Luxord, but he wasn't quite sure. Axel took his place next to Roxas. Family members started flooding in through the ornately decorated doors the loomed above them at the other end of the church. Roxas retreated toward them momentarily to converse with his parents and Xion's mother, who were all just as nervous as Roxas. After hugging, Roxas walked back over to the altar and waited for his bride-not-to-be.

Some sort of signal flowed through the gathered family and friends, and they all grew quiet. Demyx started playing the Bridal March on his sitar, a strange twist that both Roxas and Xion agreed on.

The large church doors opened, and Marluxia stepped into the hall first, basket of rose petals in hand to toss on the ground so Xion could step on them for good luck. Followed by Marluxia was Olette, her orange dress tied around her neck, her height raised by a couple of inches from the heels she wore. Sora had been paired to walk with Olette, and he linked arms with her without complaint. Naminé was right behind, her powder blue dress resembling the sky on a clear day, her hair twisted into a bun on the top of her head, arms linked with Riku. Kairi was the maid of honor, and therefore was the last one to walk the aisle before the bride. Kairi's pale pink dress reminded Axel of an Easter egg, actually, all of the women's dresses did. Kairi walked on the arm of Cloud, who towered over her by a good foot and a half.

Axel knew that Sora has secretly asked Xion if Kairi could _not_ be paired up with Riku, since the redhead was constantly trying to grope the silver haired man. It made both Axel and Roxas laugh, since they both knew that if Kairi laid one of her clawed hands on Riku, Sora would go mental.

The groomsmen lined up next to Axel, and the bridesmaids lined up on the other side of the altar, leaving a space for Xion.

The crowd stood as Xion rounded the corner. Her white dress had straight neckline and delicate beading on the hip, and the skirt continued with the same silk like material as the top, but with beaded flowers along the bottom.

Axel looked over at Roxas. The blonde's eyes were on his bride, a large smile gracing his lips, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, which were kind of sad looking and lacking the bright spark the blue orbs took on when Roxas was truly happy.

The spark they got whenever Roxas was with Axel.

As Xion walked down the aisle on the arm of her father, the crowd, mostly the women, cooed over her dress. Her black hair was down, ending near her ears, and a veil connected to a white hair piece went from the crown of her head down to the small of her back. She held a bouquet of white carnations in her hands.

Axel had to admit, she did look nice, for a _woman._ He would have preferred it if she wasn't showing as much cleavage, which kind of creeped him out.

Xion reached the altar, and her father placed her gloved hand into Roxas'. Her father took a seat next to her mother, who looked like she was about to cry.

Luxord cleared his throat before speaking. "Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee."

Roxas' family didn't have much of a religion, and they only went to church for weddings and funerals. Xion's family was religious, though Axel didn't know what religion.

"It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in property and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord," Luxord continued. Axel didn't really understand any of the religious things he was talking about, but focused on Roxas.

"I love you," Xion muttered to him while Luxord went on.

"I love you, too," Roxas stammered while still smiling. Axel thought that he probably did love her, but more as a sister or other family member, much as he loved his parents and his brothers.

"Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God."

Roxas' mother was tearing by now, as was Xion's mother. The fathers were trying to hold back their goofy and proud grins that their children were getting married.

"Into this holy union Roxas and Xion now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else forever hold your peace."

Luxord paused for a moment, and Axel knew he should object _now,_ or else all would be ruined.

Luxord turned to Roxas and Xion, rather than addressing the others in the church. "I-"

"_I object!"_ Axel said when he could finally speak again. Some of the crowd gasped and he felt eyes glaring at him. He heard Roxas gasp in surprise, and heard Xion give a low snarl that only he could hear.

"On what grounds?" Luxord asked calmly, looking at him as if Axel was wasting his time.

"On the grounds that the bride is a whore and the groom is gay!"

If the crowd was surprised before, now they were downright _pissed_. Xion's father was red in the face and looked like his wanted to throw something at Axel, as did Xion.

"Axel!" Roxas hissed. "What in the name of _hell_ are you doing?!"

"Saving your ass!"

"Roxas!" Xion spat. "You're gay?!"

Axel wondered why she didn't deny his whore comment.

"No, no, no!" Roxas said and fumbled with words. "I'm _not_ gay!"

"Then why is _that_ douche bag," Xion said and pointed crudely towards Axel. "Saying you are?!"

"Like I have any fucking clue!" Roxas snapped and ran a hand through his blonde hair. "But, I love you, Xion!"

Xion curled her lip. "Then why do you always seem so miserable when I'm around, Roxas? Why didn't your smile touch your eyes when I walked down that aisle? Why do you seem so _fucking_ happy whenever Axel is around?!"

"Xion, I've known Axel since elementary school-"

"And you've known Sora, Cloud, and Riku since birth; I don't see you giving _them_ the same look!"

"They're my _brothers_, expect Riku! And anyway, Xion-"

"Stop making excuses!" Xion yelled and threw the bouquet at Kairi. "I'm done!" She took off down the aisle.

"Xion! Wait!!" Roxas called, then turned to Axel when she continued running. "What the _fuck_, Axel?!"

Axel wasn't paying attention to his beloved blonde, who was currently steaming mad at him, at the moment. He was looking at the church doors, where a man he didn't recognize from the back running after Xion.

"Axel! Are you even paying attention to m-"

"Hold that thought, Roxie," Axel replied calmly and hooked an arm around Roxas' neck, pulling him down the aisle after Xion and the unknown man.

What the fu-" Roxas started to say, then abruptly dropped his sentence as he saw Xion outside the church hall, deeply kissing with-

"Wakka!" Roxas exclaimed.

Xion and Wakka broke apart, Xion with an expression of surprise and dismay on her face, Wakka not really seeming to care that he was kissing a girl that was getting married until a minute ago.

"I'm sorry," Xion said and ducked her head.

Roxas shook his head. "Whatever, Xion, just leave."

Axel raised a finger in the air. "Told you she was a whore."

Roxas snorted. He looked up at Axel, his eyes brimming with half-formed tears and thankfulness. "I'm _really_ glad you showed up, Axel."

"Me too, Roxie, me too." Axel waited until Xion and Wakka were walking away, then put a hand behind Roxas' neck and kissed him.

"Hell," Roxas said when he reclaimed his mouth. "I suppose I am gay."

"You _suppose?_" Axel asked with a devilish grin.

"Touché," Roxas said and brought Axel's lips down for another kiss. After they broke apart again, Roxas said, "I guess I've been gay all along, Xion just got in the way."

Axel grinned. "Whores always get in the way."

"Well," Roxas said as they walked back into the church, where heir friends and family gave them questioning looks. "I suppose we'll have to cancel that honeymoon, and tell everyone to go home."

Axel paused for a moment, feeling the eyes of everybody in the church on them. They'd come here expecting a wedding. Why not give them one?

"Roxie, you love me, right?" Axel asked as they neared the altar.

"Yeah, Axel, I do," Roxas replied with a smile.

"Then," Axel said and he gently pushed Roxas into the spot where Xion had recently been standing. Axel felt eyes staring at them questioningly. Axel got down on one knee and took Roxas' hand in his. "Will you marry_ me?_"

Roxas seemed at a lost for words, while exclamations from the people gathered in the church indicated that they knew what Axel was asking.

"Yes!" Roxas exclaimed with a bright smile.

Axel smiled back up at him and got to his feet. He looked over at Luxord and motioned for him to keep going with the ceremony.

Luxord cleared his throat. "Do you, um….what was your name again?" he asked.

"Axel," Roxas murmured.

"Right then. Do you, Axel, take this woman, er, man to be your lawfully wedded w- husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to him and him alone, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Axel said proudly.

"And do you, Roxas, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold; and do you promise, forsaking all others, to cleave to him and him alone, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Roxas said with a boyish smile with his hands clasped in Axel's.

"And, the rings?" Luxord asked, looking at Axel expectantly.

"Shit," Roxas swore. "Xion still has it."

Luxord shrugged. "Meh, fuck the rings. You both know the pledge, right?" The both nodded.

"I, Axel, take thee Roxas, to me by lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold; from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. By God's holy ordinance, I pledge to you my faith."

Axel's words rang throughout the church, the words that he'd helped Roxas memorize for weeks before today.

"I, Roxas, take thee Axel, to me by lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold; from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. By God's holy ordinance, I pledge to you my faith."

Roxas stammered a bit in saying his pledge to Axel, surprised by the fact that he was marrying a man instead of a woman.

"Because Axel and Roxas have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and these witnesses, and have thereto given and pledged their faith, each one to the other, By the power given to my by Hollow Bastion Church, I pronounce that they are Husband and Wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." To Axel, he said, "You may kiss the bride, er, groom."

Axel cupped Roxas' cheek and kissed him nicely and sweetly. Roxas' family clapped and cheered, while Xion's family had already left sometime during their vows. Axel had no family besides his brother, Reno, who was too busy working with his friend Rude to attend any kind of social event.

They broke their kiss and linked arms, walking down the aisle as a newly married couple. The bridesmaids and groomsmen followed them, giggling and snickering over what had happened.

A reception party was never planned, since Xion's family was full of busy people that would have to leave for work right after the wedding ceremony, so Axel and Roxas got into a limo that was waiting for them outside the church. It was set course for the nearest airport, where they would set off for a secret honeymoon spot that Roxas' family had put together.

"Roxas, I love you," Axel said once they had started driving towards the airport. He loosened his tie and pulled the too-small shoes off of his feet.

"I love you too, Axel," Roxas murmured, and then kissed Axel again.

And their story would be always told in Hollow Bastion, the story of when the groom married his best man.


End file.
